Opinion: Sign of the Beast or Sign of the Summer?
originally published in the June 7 edition of the Suffolk Journal.
By John S. Forrester
What a strange summer this is shaping up to be. With sweltering temperatures, torrential storms, apocalyptic undertones, convention-challenging Hollywood blockbusters and roving activist bike gangs - this could be the most action packed summer in years!
First of all, the dreaded 6/6/6 numerical date approached us and passed. Did the world explode in a burst of hellish flames? No. Did people get paranoid and go crazy? Of course. This was just Y2K v. 2.0. The only thing we need to fear is people who actually buy into the hype. At least, it was a good day to sell some heavy metal albums and horror movies.
Accentuating the frenzy is "The Da Vinci Code," the movie that everyone loves to chat about but simultaneously slam as being "not actually that good." Before we get to fact-checking the Bible, fear not: this big-budget, fictional assailment on Catholic convention is only the fourth grossing movie in the nation as of June 2. People are more interested in seeing Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston get it on than question their religious beliefs.
Things always seem a bit crazy during the World Cup which is, held once every four years. Could the fact that Budweiser obtained the sole beer vendor contract for this year's event be a sign of demonic influence? Perhaps, or it could just mean that Germany will have a huge problem on their hands when visitors from around the world realize that they're forced to slurp down mass-produced American hog sweat. There have even been articles on the blogosphere with titles like "How to Avoid Drinking Budweiser at the World Cup" and a website, www.budout.com, popped up to protest the injustice.
Don't forget, the bird flu is still knocking at our door, a new Berlin wall is popping up on our southern border, Anna Nicole Smith is pregnant and a "natural" version of 7-Up was recently released.
All of these are ominous, dark shadows on the horizon.
The political sphere can't escape the summer-borne insanity either: Bush ,acknowledging his "tough words," might not have set the best tone for the war in Iraq. There was the slashing of Homeland Security funding to major cities like New York and Washington D.C. and the recent issues with illegal immigrants and gay marriage. Condoleezza Rice is even starting to look sexy.
Things are a bit off-kilter locally too. Rumor has it a group of gay bicyclists have taken to the streets under the name "The Pink Panthas," to combat hate crimes (they're trained in self-defense), educating the public on HIV and handing out condoms. Then there's Johnny Damon (or is it Daemon?) in the uniform of the Evil Empire and Boston Police Commissioner Kathleen O'Toole abruptly leaving for the top-cop slot in Ireland. Even she recognized the craziness permeating the Hub.
In Suffolk's own backyard, the Brahmins are uproarious as well. The Beacon Hill Times featured several stories and editorials blasting Suffolk's plans to build a new dorm in the area. Having more of Suffolk's 4,600 students live in a safe, supervised (and might I add alcohol-prohibitive) environment instead of forcing them to seek expensive off-campus housing? How awful! Shame on you President Sargent, everything is going to hell!
So when does the madness end? If you're feeling a spell of summer hysteria, rest assured of one certainty…come September, a greater, all-consuming sense of dread will emerge: the beginning of the fall semester. Things aren't as bad as they seem now, are they?
originally published in the June 7 edition of the Suffolk Journal.
By John S. Forrester
What a strange summer this is shaping up to be. With sweltering temperatures, torrential storms, apocalyptic undertones, convention-challenging Hollywood blockbusters and roving activist bike gangs - this could be the most action packed summer in years!
First of all, the dreaded 6/6/6 numerical date approached us and passed. Did the world explode in a burst of hellish flames? No. Did people get paranoid and go crazy? Of course. This was just Y2K v. 2.0. The only thing we need to fear is people who actually buy into the hype. At least, it was a good day to sell some heavy metal albums and horror movies.
Accentuating the frenzy is "The Da Vinci Code," the movie that everyone loves to chat about but simultaneously slam as being "not actually that good." Before we get to fact-checking the Bible, fear not: this big-budget, fictional assailment on Catholic convention is only the fourth grossing movie in the nation as of June 2. People are more interested in seeing Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston get it on than question their religious beliefs.
Things always seem a bit crazy during the World Cup which is, held once every four years. Could the fact that Budweiser obtained the sole beer vendor contract for this year's event be a sign of demonic influence? Perhaps, or it could just mean that Germany will have a huge problem on their hands when visitors from around the world realize that they're forced to slurp down mass-produced American hog sweat. There have even been articles on the blogosphere with titles like "How to Avoid Drinking Budweiser at the World Cup" and a website, www.budout.com, popped up to protest the injustice.
Don't forget, the bird flu is still knocking at our door, a new Berlin wall is popping up on our southern border, Anna Nicole Smith is pregnant and a "natural" version of 7-Up was recently released.
All of these are ominous, dark shadows on the horizon.
The political sphere can't escape the summer-borne insanity either: Bush ,acknowledging his "tough words," might not have set the best tone for the war in Iraq. There was the slashing of Homeland Security funding to major cities like New York and Washington D.C. and the recent issues with illegal immigrants and gay marriage. Condoleezza Rice is even starting to look sexy.
Things are a bit off-kilter locally too. Rumor has it a group of gay bicyclists have taken to the streets under the name "The Pink Panthas," to combat hate crimes (they're trained in self-defense), educating the public on HIV and handing out condoms. Then there's Johnny Damon (or is it Daemon?) in the uniform of the Evil Empire and Boston Police Commissioner Kathleen O'Toole abruptly leaving for the top-cop slot in Ireland. Even she recognized the craziness permeating the Hub.
In Suffolk's own backyard, the Brahmins are uproarious as well. The Beacon Hill Times featured several stories and editorials blasting Suffolk's plans to build a new dorm in the area. Having more of Suffolk's 4,600 students live in a safe, supervised (and might I add alcohol-prohibitive) environment instead of forcing them to seek expensive off-campus housing? How awful! Shame on you President Sargent, everything is going to hell!
So when does the madness end? If you're feeling a spell of summer hysteria, rest assured of one certainty…come September, a greater, all-consuming sense of dread will emerge: the beginning of the fall semester. Things aren't as bad as they seem now, are they?
posted by John S. Forrester at 3:20 PM
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